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Dr. Jessica Gold

San Francisco Tantra Teacher, Scientist and Relationship Coach

There was only one model for how to live life in the small town in Texas where I was raised, and leaving a respectable scientific career to go study an esoteric system of tantric yoga was not part of it.

Everyone asks me how I made the leap from PhD scientist, toiling in lab for long hours, to living in a tantric community on a tropical island and starting my own business teaching Tantra in San Francisco.

The short answer is: I decided to say 'yes' to what scared me. 

However, as a scientist, I wasn't about to throw rational thinking out the window for New-Age wishful thinking. 


Yet after 10 years in the lab, I was miserable. I was operating entirely from my head, trying to 'logic' my way through relationships and life. I believed success meant suppressing my emotions and connection with the body. This resulted in chronic fatigue, anxiety, drinking too much, and terrible sex.


After a particularly transformational 5th year at Burning Man, I put down my pipettes forever.

It was tantra that finally checkmated my mind and forced me to actually let myself feel good, for once. Over my mother's protests and not knowing how I'd ever get hired again, I stayed on that crazy island to study and practice. Finally, I stopped overthinking everything and had some really great sex.

I had become a scientist because I wanted to investigate the structure of reality - what is everything made of? In Tantric practice, I found the same inquiry, with the study of consciousness rather than material reality, at the root. In this new framework, relationships became my laboratory.

From chemist to alchemist: I've always been studying bonding and chemistry - whether molecular or interpersonal!

My teachers/certifications include: Layla Martin's VITA coaching, Process Work with David Bedrick, Prem Baba's ABC 1, John Wineland' Relationship Salon, Kendra Cunov's Fierce Grace, Emotional Mastery Certification with Jenny Hale, ICF certification at the PCC level, Jasmine Tarkeshi of Laughing Lotus, and Christopher Wallis and Paul Muller-Ortega for classical tantrik meditation and non-dual philosophy.

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My work and my mission is to bring the art of sacred relating to everyone - through the profound teachings of Tantra - in San Francisco and beyond.

Think about it: your intimate relationship is your bedrock.


Science tells us that the health of your family life and your feeling of connection with your partner are the biggest influences on your happiness.


So why are we taught exactly nothing about how to be smart about relating and intimacy when choosing a partner and over the long term?


Men especially are discouraged from studying or understanding our emotional world, our nervous system, how to communicate, and how to self- and co-regulate. 

And mostly what you see in the media is the shaming of men for not knowing something that you were shamed out of studying.


The old patriarchal model of relating through control and oppression of women has been put to rest, thankfully.


But the pendulum has swung too far in the other direction - where well-meaning men are afraid of causing harm through their power and desire, and so we've seen the rise of the 'nice guys' and 'pleasers.'


Let me tell you a secret: this new model kills desire in your woman. And women actually love it when you are powerful.


The key is - the new paradigm of power doesn't come from power-over another. It comes from inner power.


It's the journey I had to go on myself. 

As a former scientist who values the life of the mind and rational thought, I love helping men cross the bridge from the head to the heart, without rejecting either - just as I did.

The paradigm-shifting wisdom of the tantric yogis was to value both intellectual understanding as well as subjective embodied experience. Each refines the other.

My clients have included CEOS & founders in the tech, consulting, and finance industries, as well as brave, passionate men from all walks of life ready to discover Tantra in San Francisco.


They are husbands and fathers who refuse to let the passion die in their marriage, or single men who refuse to live a life of disconnection and loneliness.


Many of us come from backgrounds of shame, denial, and repression. It is a radical act to claim our desire, turn toward our emotions, and heal our wounds with compassion rather than criticism.


Every man who wants a life-long passionate relationship must at some point take this journey.


Join us.

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