When you’ve made it in business, everyone wants something from you.
“I’m tired of only having friends who are also in business with me,” one founder told me after his exit.
“At home, I feel like an ATM for the kids. Out in the world, I don’t have friends who are just friends - and eventually, here comes the big pitch.”
“I know I created this situation, I just don’t know how to get out of it.”
Alex Peykoff, heir to Niagara Bottling, said it well (on Moneywise):
“I was looking for friends. I was looking for connection. I wanted somebody to love me and view me as a human being instead of this person that could throw money around because I was printing it.”
So what do you do to create that real connection?
There are three simple ways to start:
Let’s unpack each of these briefly.
Boundaries are a skill that’s near-universally lacking among couples.
Let’s just call a spade a spade:
You do whatever it takes to keep her happy because -
1) you don’t want to deal with her upset.
2) you secretly hope that if you bend over backwards to please her, she’ll want to have more sex with you.
The problem is that this behavior is terminally unsexy.
She doesn’t want a pushover who she can’t trust - she wants a strong masculine presence who doesn’t put up with bullshit.
And when it comes to your kids - not having boundaries around them is disempowering and damaging.
The essential point to get here is this:
Set boundaries from a place of love - not from a place of control, anger, or threat.
A boundary is not a wall - it’s a place where you both connect that honors you and the other person.
A boundary is not about controlling the other person’s behavior - it’s about what YOU will do.
Set them with care and not from a tight, retaliatory energy - and watch the attraction blossom. Because a self-respecting person is attractive.
Talk about high ROI.
Presence isn’t about simply physically being there.
It’s about being emotionally there aka having good relational skills. This can look like:
Most guys believe they know how to communicate well - they don’t realize how much advice they’re giving. This is much faster to fix with a third party like a coach or therapist to gently pinpoint your blindspots.
And, it’s normal for couples over time to find themselves mired in complaint. It’s just how our brains work - we are looking for what’s wrong to keep ourselves safe.
Start to look for, and verbalize, what you appreciate instead.
These qualities count more than money and gifts ever could.
The hard truth of wealth is that now everyone wants something from you. If you haven’t cultivated peers as friends along the way to success, it’s lonely at the top.
How do you find peers to be friends with now? There are many elite communities you can be a part of. Find a good one. Don’t leave finding friends to chance. You need good men in your corner who you can lean on and be yourself around.
Being social is good for your brain health - it staves off dementia - and it’s good for your marriage. When you have solid friends to lean on, you can show up fully present for your wife.
Boundaries, Presence and Peer Communities are 3 simple ways to start creating deeper connection at home - and this is just the tip of the iceberg.
I walk successful founders through my 10 steps for a more passionate marriage every day.
If you’re struggling in a marriage that still feels broken, even after the big win exit… This is where we begin:
Download my free guide on 4 Keys to Passionate Relationships and show up as a powerful presence that women love and fix your ‘upper limit’ so you can actually receive the pleasure and connection you’re longing for.
This is THE guide to creating high-quality relationships across the board in your life (with your partner, kids, parents, boss, and friends).
Dr. Jessica,
xo
Follow me on IG: @drjessicagold and on X: @drjessicagold, and connect with me on LinkedIn: Dr. Jessica Gold, PhD
Because success creates dynamics where everyone — kids, family, friends — starts seeing you as a provider. Without boundaries and presence, even your marriage can feel transactional instead of intimate.
Healthy boundaries show self-respect. Instead of trying to keep everyone happy (which kills desire), boundaries communicate strength and clarity. Women trust and desire men who hold boundaries with love, not control.
Presence means emotional engagement, not just physical proximity. It looks like:
Because women don’t want a pushover. They crave a man who can meet them emotionally, not just financially. Presence and leadership build attraction more reliably than money or gifts.
When you have strong male peers, you stop over-relying on your wife for every need. Male friendships buffer stress, improve brain health, and allow you to show up more present and alive at home.
Download my free guide: 4 Keys to Passionate Relationships.
It’s your blueprint to shift from “ATM” energy into being the powerful presence women crave.
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