How to Meet Amazing Women

How to Stop Repeating the Same Patterns in Dating and Attract Quality Women Instead

How to Meet Amazing Women

First things first: check your dating blindspots!

When a client comes to me and says: “Dr. Jessica, how do I meet quality women and stop attracting emotionally immature partners?”

(I know this question may be provocative, but it’s a common one that men ask me when they are recovering from traumatic relationships, excruciating divorces, or dating scams).

Here’s what I recommend for how to meet amazing women:

Make sure you treat yourself the way you want a partner to treat you. For example: is your inner critic running the show? Or are you able to speak kindly to yourself? Can you let in praise and compliments?
Hold self-respecting boundaries and make sure you do not throw everything else in your life under the bus for a woman. Live a life worth inviting her into!
Slow way, way down. I’ve seen too many men dive in without carefully assessing a new woman. Who are her friends? How does she talk about her exes? How does she act when she doesn’t get her way?
Recognize if you’re ‘upper limiting’ — ie, unconsciously believing you don’t deserve a great relationship. What kind of relationship did your parents model for you? Bring those unconscious narratives to light and write out your own instead.
Get a handle on your desire. Are you suppressing your sexual self out of fear of being seen as ‘creepy’? Do you feel shame around your desire? Develop a healthy relationship to this part of you.
Make sure to hang out in the kinds of places where the women you’re looking for are likely to spend time. Stop meeting women at bars and join a community or interest group instead.
Do you have a tendency to play out the ‘rescuer’ role in the drama triangle? Or the ‘victim’? Get honest with yourself and take steps to empower a healthy dynamic instead.
Get out of your head and into your body. Make friends with your emotions so that you are showing up as authentic, honest, and congruent — this is a trustworthy energy that draws in women who value this way of being.
Be aware of your attachment tendencies, and choose to show up centered, grounded, and communicative — don’t play games.
Learn to communicate with agility — you’ll need to practice this with a professional to get out of ingrained habits.

These are some of the blindspots I help men with all the time in my work (and no shame in them! Many of these I’ve had to work through myself).

If you’re looking for more dating advice on how to meet amazing women and attract the woman of your dreams — I’ve got a free dating guide available for download here.