Most dating tips for men don’t apply if you’re already successful in business but want deeper success in love.
When you’ve reached a certain age and level of accomplishment, you don’t want to make the same mistakes you did in your marriage. This time around, you’re definitely ready for a relationship of depth and passion - but how do you create that?
First, avoid most dating advice out there, which is bullshit: based on superficial qualifiers or on ‘just-so’ stories designed to make it sound like relating boils down to subconscious biological imperatives.
Outdated dating tips for men tend to focus on surface-level tactics, but what you actually need is emotional clarity and strategic depth.
Superficial characteristics aren’t what creates happiness that lasts. And following reductionist advice won’t get you a relationship of mutual respect and trust.
Instead, to find a partner who deeply meets you on every level, focus on the “intangible assets” that she brings to the table.
For example:
One of the most underrated dating tips for men is to ask: Can I build a life, and a conversation, with this woman through real-world challenges?
At the end of the day, your new partner is someone you may share 10,000 meals with - even in a second marriage.
As you probably learned the hard way in a difficult first marriage (I’ve been there, too), you need to like talking to each other - even when you’re talking about something hard, or when you’re tired, anxious, or hungry. You want to be able to bring up the tough stuff (like your sex life), without fear of criticism or stonewalling.
A foundation of growth, trust, and respect that you can build on is far more important than attraction and hobbies - and backed by research.
When you’re interacting with a date, think about whether you two could work out being on the same team through challenges like blending your families and kids, making hard financial decisions, helping each other through illness, and caring for aging parents.
The best dating tips for men aren’t just about choosing the right partner, they’re also about becoming the kind of man who attracts one.
Finally, as you think about these and other important intangible assets you’d like your next partner to have, also consider what she might like to see in you.
For example: if you were giving your daughter advice on what traits to look for in a man, what might you tell her - and do you have those?
If not, you’ve found your new growth edge.
The good news is that accomplished women are hungry for men who are open to growth and doing their work.
Many dating tips for men miss this: emotionally intelligent women aren’t looking for perfect, they’re looking for real.
You’ll have an advantage as one of those men. You can have a relationship of depth and passion - but you’ll need to ignore most dating advice and look deeper to get there.
Good luck. For those men who are dating after divorce, I’m curious to hear your biggest challenge.
Leave a comment or drop me a line.
If you’re ready to upgrade your confidence, charisma, and emotional presence, check out my free guide for more dating tips for men: 10 Ways to Meet Women — OFFLINE.
Stop unwittingly repelling the women you want to attract and break free from repeating patterns in dating.
Be a magnet for gorgeous, emotionally-mature women who you’re actually attracted to.
Download your free PDF dating guide here.
You didn’t build an empire on chance and luck, so why are you winging it when it comes to dating?
Dr. Jessica,
xo
Follow me on IG: @drjessicagold and on X: @drjessicagold, and connect with me on LinkedIn: Dr. Jessica Gold, PhD
Because who you are now isn’t who you were in your 20s or 30s — and the type of relationship you want has likely evolved. After divorce, success in dating isn’t about superficial attraction or “winning” the game. It’s about emotional maturity, shared values, and finding a woman who can meet you in growth, partnership, and depth. Outdated dating advice teaches tactics. Modern, successful love requires discernment.
Focus on her intangible assets — qualities that predict long-term happiness and emotional safety:
These are the traits that build real partnership, not just chemistry.
Ask yourself: “Can I build a life — and a conversation — with this woman through real-world challenges?” You’ll share 10,000 meals and face everything from career stress to family decisions together. Choose the woman who can talk through the tough stuff without shaming, stonewalling, or retreating.
Reflect on what you tolerated last time that you’ll no longer accept — and what you failed to express that now needs to be voiced. Then, embody the traits you’d want your daughter to look for in a man: integrity, communication, accountability, and self-awareness. The quality of your next relationship will rise to the level of your personal growth.
They’re not looking for “perfect.” They’re looking for real. Accomplished women are drawn to men who are self-aware, emotionally literate, and unafraid of growth. They value presence over performance, empathy over ego, and consistency over charisma.
Trade “impressing” for connecting. You’re not auditioning — you’re aligning. When you stop trying to prove your worth and start showing your truth, you naturally attract women who meet you there.
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